Much has been made about the idea that the Super Mario Bros. game simply revolves around Mario and his brother Luigi hallucinating while doing mushrooms. It’s an interesting concept that really does change everything about the game. So assuming it’s true, what does that mean for the brothers from a legal perspective? Here’s what Oceanside drug lawyer Peter M. Liss believes.
With all the red and green mushrooms lying around, there’s no doubting the Mario Brothers are eating psilocybin mushrooms (commonly called ‘shrooms) by the handful. Realistically, this amount of psilocybin mushrooms would probably cause someone to die from dehydration as they do a number on the digestive system, but let’s just say the brothers drink a lot of water and have iron stomachs. While those on shrooms are rarely violent, the pure amount and frequency that Mario and Luigi consume are probably beyond what any other person has actually done. That being said, we do know the brothers probably do other substances. “Dr.” Mario is known to use handfuls of pills at a time and it’s pretty likely that those little blinking stars are LSD tabs.
Possession of these drugs is a crime in itself and it’s likely that the boys would be charged with possession with intent to sell based purely on the amount of drugs they have on hand. Of course, arguing that you intend to personally use the drugs you have in your possession is one of the best defenses to this crime and while it might seem far fetched when you seem to have pounds of mushrooms lying around, if the boys’ Oceanside drug attorney can provide proof of the quantity they have been using, they would only face simple possession charges.
Drug Possession Sentences
Simple possession of mushrooms is a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail. While many first-time offenders don’t even face prosecution, the Mario Bros. almost certainly would given the amount they possess. If they are charged with possession for sale though, they could instead face somewhere between two and four years in prison.
Possession of other drugs for personal use is also usually a misdemeanor, even for LSD. However possession for sale penalties will vary based on the substance in question.
Animal Abusing Brothers?
It wouldn’t be so bad if Mario and Luigi just sat around their apartment and did a lot of drugs, but what’s really going to make their case difficult is the fact that they have been stepping on and kicking turtles for years. Just because they call the turtles “koopas” and claim they kidnapped their princess, doesn’t mean the animal abuse is any less horrific.
The brothers’ track record of animal abuse might not be looked at kindly by jurors if the case went to trial, but it’s likely their Oceanside animal abuse defense lawyer could make a decent argument that the boys were unaware of what they were doing and truly believed they were fighting evil monsters. While attorneys in California are unlikely to use the insanity defense because it often ends up with the client spending more time in a mental facility than they would have spent in prison, a mental health facility that specialized in substance abuse would likely be a good option for Mario and Luigi.
While it’s unlikely that any real person would face charges related to such excessive psychedelic use and long term animal abuse involving turtles, anyone accused of any drug charge or violent crime should call (760) 643-4050 to schedule a free initial consultation with Oceanside criminal lawyer Peter M. Liss.
Creative Commons Image by Kirt Edblom