The Doctor from Doctor Who is a sensitive, caring individual who has saved countless planets, even universes, but that doesn’t change the fact that he also has committed many crimes over the centuries. From the moment he stole the TARDIS, The Doctor has been committing all types of theft, immigration and customs violations. Here’s what a criminal lawyer believes would happen to him if he committed some of those crimes in California. We’ll overlook the cases where he murders sentient beings and arguably commits genocide because most of those situations involve self defense and defense of others (including entire races).
TARDIS Theft by The Doctor from Doctor Who
Perhaps The Doctor’s most notorious crime is his theft of the TARDIS. We may not have time traveling vehicles in the US, but our closest equivalent to this Time Lord technology would certainly be a car. There are some who argue that his theft isn’t really a big deal because TARDISes belong to all Time Lords, but if anything, this would mean his theft was really more like stealing a car from a car share program -it’s still theft since it was not meant to be available for one Gallifreyan to use exclusively forever.
In fact, it was a capital crime in Galifrey, which is why The Doctor was exiled and forced through a regeneration long before the Time Wars began. If he committed a similar offense in California, he would be a lot better off because car burglary charges carry a maximum sentence of three years, which is certainly a lot better than exile and the loss of your life (even if you have multiple lives). In fact, defense attorneys can often get felony car burglary charges reduced to misdemeanors, which carry no more than a one year jail sentence -which would ultimately be a drop in the bucket for someone who could live over a millennia.
That Time the Doctor Hacked an ATM Machine
One crime that would undoubtedly be a crime anywhere in the world is when The Doctor uses his Sonic Screwdriver to make ATMs eject cash. Hacking an ATM is not only a theft crime, but also a computer crime charge. Depending on the specific charges, which would largely be based on how much he took, this could leave The Doctor facing quite a few years in prison. While self defense laws usually protect persons against using necessary force to stop someone presenting a threat to themselves or others, a criminal lawyer could defend him against some of these charges if he made the ATM spit out cash to cause a distraction that saved lives -like he did in “The Runaway Bride.”
Identity Theft by Psychic Paper
From a legal standpoint though, The Doctor’s worst crimes are those where he impersonates police officers and federal agents using his psychic paper. While he usually does this in the UK, if he did it in the US, he could face charges of fraud, false impersonation and/or impersonating a federal agent. In some extreme cases, he could even be charged with treason. His companions could even be charged with conspiracy for assisting him in these crimes. Depending on the evidence and circumstances, his best defense for these crimes could simply be to have a good attorney negotiate a plea bargain that will not leave him with a life sentence or the death penalty and may let his companions avoid charges.
While you may not be a Time Lord like The Doctor from Doctor Who, human beings can still get in legal trouble on occasion. If you have been charged with a crime, ranging from petty theft to treason, Peter M. Liss can help. Please call (760) 643-4050 to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss your case.
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