Last Updated on July 2, 2025
Conjugal visits are regularly referenced in movies and TV shows, but they almost seem unreal. After all, why should people serving time for crimes be allowed to have sex when they’re supposed to be punished? But that’s one of the big misconceptions about what the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation calls “Family Visits.” The official name isn’t just a creative euphemism code for “sex visits” -the real reason the state allows these types of inmate visitation is to provide those behind bars with a way to stay close to their families. “Studies show this kind of visitation program has profound benefits not only to inmates but also to the general public in the form of reduced crime rates and lowered taxes,” explains attorney Peter Liss.
What are Conjugal Visits?
A conjugal visit is where an inmate has the opportunity to see their family with some slight level of privacy and intimacy. One of the big misconceptions about these visits is that they are purely designed to allow prisoners to have sex. While that may be how the program started and may be part of the experience for married couples, the true purpose of the visits is to allow prisoners the chance to spend time with their families.
It’s Not Just About Sex
Notably, in New York, where inmates can visit with extended family members, only 48% of these meetings were with a spouse. Even when the visit is with a spouse, most inmates say that while the chance to have sex with their partners was nice, the family visit was more about being intimate with the person they love for anywhere from 30 to 40 hours.
Considering that standard prison visits require all conversations to be monitored by guards, and partners are only permitted to kiss at the start and end of the visit, the chance to have private discussions for 24 hours and spend the night in bed together is a welcome change.
The History of Conjugal Visits
Conjugal visits were initially introduced in Mississippi state in the early 1900s. At the time, inmates were essentially just used as slaves, even physically beaten if they broke the rules or failed to work hard enough. To provide positive encouragement for those who worked hard and followed the rules, the prison brought prostitutes for the best inmates every Sunday. Eventually, the prison also started allowing prisoners’ wives and girlfriends to visit.
The idea eventually caught on, and over the years, many other states adopted the idea of letting wives spend time with their inmate husbands, with over 1/3 of states in the United States eventually enacting some type of conjugal visit program. Unfortunately, with the push to “get tough on crime” that took place in the 90s, many states got rid of these types of programs, which were seen as “being soft on crime” by giving prisoners “sex visits” when they should be being punished. Nowadays, the only four states that offer conjugal visits are California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington.
Do You Have to be Married for a Conjugal Visit?
“You do not have to be married to qualify for a conjugal visit,” explains Liss, “however, each state offering these programs has a different list of qualifying immediate family members.” Here is how each location defines “immediate family member:”
- In California, you do not have to be married for a conjugal visit. You can spend time with any immediate family member, including include spouses, registered domestic partners, siblings, children, or parents.
- In New York, visitors can be children, spouses, parents, grandparents, or foster parents/legal guardians. Notably, New York does not seem to include domestic partners and married couples must be legally wed for at least six months to qualify for a conjugal visit.
- In Connecticut, the “extended family visit” must include a full family, meaning the inmate’s child must be present and be accompanied by their other parent, legal guardian, or one of the inmate’s parents.
- In Washington, the term “immediate family” is more expanded than other states, as it includes children, stepchildren, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, spouses, registered domestic partners, siblings, parents, stepparents, grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, and aunts of the incarcerated person.
Why Do Prisons Have Conjugal Visits?
There are many benefits, but the biggest is a dramatic reduction in recidivism rates. One study in New Mexico (which recently discontinued conjugal visits) showed that prisoners who participated in extended family visits had 70% less chance of ending up in prison than those who did not participate.
Family visits are, therefore, more effective than education in keeping former felons out of prison. “I believe the effectiveness of these programs is logical, considering they help maintain relationships between inmates and their loved ones,” says Liss. “These relationships are critical in helping convicts readjust to life outside prison after release.”
Family Visits Save Taxpayer Money
Though many people consider these programs to be a waste of taxpayer money, it’s been shown that every $1 spent on education in prisons saves taxpayers $5 annually due to the reduced cost of housing prisoners. “Since visits with family members cost less than education programs and are even more effective at reducing crime rates, maintaining these programs is a no-brainer in my opinion,” Liss says.
Reducing recidivism rates is not the only benefit of conjugal visits. By encouraging prisoners to be good to earn time with their loved ones, prisons can reduce violence and dangers to other inmates and guards —which could further reduce the tax rates associated with incarceration. More savings can also be realized because the more often prisoners act like model citizens, the more likely they are to be eligible for early release programs, where they can enjoy a complete family reunion outside of the prison.
Conjugal Visits Reduce Prison Sexual Assaults
There is also evidence that conjugal visits reduce prison rape. One study found that sexual violence in prison occurred at a rate of 226 per 100,000 prisoners in states without these programs, while occurring at a rate of 57 per 100.000 prisoners in states with family visits.
CA Conjugal Visit FAQs
All prisons in California, including the Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility in South San Diego, allow family visits. Here’s what you should know about this special type of prisoner visitation.
How Long do Conjugal Visits Last?
Inmates who qualify for family visits in California can spend up to 40 hours in an apartment located on prison grounds with their immediate family members. These apartments are equipped with toiletries, sheets, and condoms.
How Many Conjugal Visits Can a Prisoner in California Qualify for?
Prisoners are allowed no more than four visits per year. “Unfortunately, because of the program’s popularity and the limited number of prison apartment spaces,” explains Attorney Peter Liss, “I believe prisoners are more likely to be able to participate only twice a year.”
What are the Rules for Conjugal Visits?
Visitors must follow many rules, including what they wear. For example, no one can wear blue jeans, and women cannot wear short dresses, short skirts, strapless tops, or form-fitting clothing. Visiting family members will not be strip-searched, though the prisoner will. While the visit is mostly unsupervised, the area will be searched as often as every four hours.
Who Qualifies for Conjugal Visits in California?
Not all prisoners are eligible for the program. Anyone on death row, who is serving a life sentence, or who was convicted of a sex offense is ineligible. Additionally, inmates must have a record of good behavior, and anyone on disciplinary restrictions cannot participate. Those eligible must apply through their correctional counselor.
Another California Option for Mothers With Young Children
For most incarcerated persons, conjugal visits are the only way they can see their family outside of visiting hours. However, pregnant women and mothers with children under 6 may meet the requirements for the state’s Community Prisoner Mother Program (CPMP). This program allows mothers to live in a special facility with their child until they are released or until the child turns 6.
Alternative Sentences are Still Preferable
Of course, being allowed to continue living with your family is better than any conjugal visit. Maintaining your family life is much easier if you prove your innocence or are given an alternative sentence, such as probation, house arrest, or a diversion program. “Your choice of criminal lawyer makes such a drastic difference in the outcome of your case,” explains Liss. “If you choose me as your attorney, I can help you fight your charges and secure the best possible outcome for your case.” If you have been accused of any crime, please call (760) 643-4050 to schedule a free initial consultation at the Vista office of Peter M. Liss.
