Last Updated on December 2, 2024
Much has been made about the idea that the Super Mario Bros. game simply revolves around Mario and his brother Luigi hallucinating while doing mushrooms. It’s an interesting concept that really does change everything about the game. So assuming it’s true, what does that mean for the brothers from a legal perspective? Here’s what lawyer Peter M. Liss believes.
Is Mario a Drug Addict?
With all the red and green mushrooms lying around, if you assume the drug references are correct, there’s no doubting the Mario Brothers are eating psilocybin mushrooms (commonly called ‘shrooms) by the handful. Realistically, this amount of psilocybin mushrooms would probably cause someone to die from dehydration as they do a number on the digestive system but assume that when Mario and Luigi take the drugs, they drink a lot of water and they have very strong stomachs.
While those on shrooms are rarely violent, the pure amount and frequency that Mario and Luigi consume are probably beyond what any other person has actually done. That being said, we do know the brothers probably do other substances. “Dr.” Mario is known to use handfuls of pills at a time, and those little blinking stars that make them invincible are possibly LSD tabs or angel dust.
Possession of these drugs is a crime in itself, and the boys would likely be charged with possession with intent to sell based purely on the quantity of drugs they have on hand. Of course, arguing that you intend to personally use the drugs you have in your possession is one of the best defenses to this crime. While this defense might seem far-fetched when you have pounds of mushrooms lying around, if the boys’ attorney can provide proof of the quantity they have been using, they would only face simple possession charges.
Drug Possession Sentences
Simple possession of mushrooms is a misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail. While many first-time offenders don’t even face prosecution as they qualify for a diversion program, the Mario Bros. almost certainly would given the amount they possess. If they are charged with possession for sale though, they could face two to four years in prison.
Possession of other drugs for personal use is also usually a misdemeanor, even for LSD. However, possession for sale penalties vary based on the substance and quantity in question.
Animal Abusing Brothers?
It wouldn’t be so bad if Mario and Luigi just sat around their apartment and did a lot of drugs, but what would really make their case difficult is the fact that they have been stepping on and kicking turtles for years. Just because they call the turtles “koopas” and claim they kidnapped their princess doesn’t mean the animal abuse is any less horrific.
The brothers’ track record of animal abuse might not be looked at kindly by jurors if the case went to trial, but it’s likely an animal abuse defense lawyer could make a decent argument that the boys were unaware of what they were doing and truly believed they were fighting evil monsters. While attorneys are unlikely to use the insanity defense because it does not apply in cases of voluntary intoxication, a mental health facility that specializes in substance abuse would likely be a good option for Mario and Luigi. Seeking treatment for their addiction before they are forced to do so by the court would go a long way toward showing that they recognize they have a drug problem and are willing to get help.
While it’s unlikely that any real person would face charges related to such excessive psychedelic use and long-term turtle abuse, anyone accused of any drug charge or violent crime should call (760) 643-4050 to schedule a free initial consultation with lawyer Peter M. Liss.
