Last Updated on September 13, 2024
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Fans of Lemony Snicket have long shuddered at the atrocities committed by Count Olaf. Thanks to Netflix, even more people now know just how evil the frequent not-so-legal guardian of the Baudelaire children really is. While readers and viewers know they should have heeded warnings to “look away,” the tragic tale is now etched in their memories. But there is good news. Should Count Olaf ever be captured and prosecuted, he would be securely locked away in prison for a long, long time. Here are some of the crimes he committed in the early tales of the Baudelaires, and the legal penalties for each.
Note: While the books have been out for years now, we absolutely adore the Netflix series (especially Neil Patrick Harris’ portrayal of Olaf), so for the sake of avoiding spoilers for fans of the show, we will be limiting his crimes only to those that take place in the first four books —and the first season of the series. Besides, Olaf commits more than enough crimes in these first stories to go to prison for life, so going through all of his crimes in all of the stories would be superfluous, a word which in this case means “unnecessary and more than enough.”
Crimes in The Bad Beginning
Olaf starts out mean and ends up downright evil. First, he presents the children with a home that is in no way safe for them to live in, making him arguably guilty of child endangerment and neglect. After he doesn’t get his way, Olaf goes from uncaring to downright abusive, even slapping Klaus in front of a table of guests. However, child abuse and endangerment charges are nothing compared to some of the other terrible crimes he commits.
After hitting Klaus, he develops a plan to force Violet to marry him, thus enabling him to take control of the Baudelaire fortune. To do so, he locks sunny up in a cage dangling from his home’s tower window, extorts Violet and Klaus to go along with the wedding, and tricks Justice Strauss into officiating the legal ceremony under the guise of a play. These actions could amount to assault with a deadly weapon, blackmail, fraud -even possibly attempted murder.
Interestingly, it is legal for juveniles to be married in California as long as they have the consent of their legal guardian. However, prior to the wedding, the minor, their guardian, and the teen’s fiance must meet with a justice of the peace individually to ensure the underage party is not being coerced. If the juvenile is under 17 and is not pregnant though, there will also be a 30-day waiting period before the wedding. So if Olaf’s plan had been enacted in California, it would have failed.
Most decent criminal attorneys could defend their client from child endangerment charges, arguing that a person who unexpectedly becomes a legal guardian rarely has time to prepare their home. Similarly, a lawyer could possibly even defend his slapping Klaus as a new parent trying to learn how to properly discipline a child (noting that the slap did not cause any actual injuries). But trying to defend Olaf from charges related to the mock wedding would be difficult, if not impossible.
Child endangerment and abuse charges carry up to two years, but the other charges could result in a sentence of at least 15 years imprisonment. So even if he beat those two more defensible actions, his other behaviors would still leave him behind bars for an extended period.
Olaf Becomes a Killer in The Reptile Room
His acts in the second book are even more reprehensible than those in the first. It’s worth noting that here the word “reprehensible” means despicable or inexcusable. Olaf uses fraud to worm his way into the lives of the children a second time by fooling Montgomery Montgomery (aka Uncle Monty) into believing he was sent as the replacement to Montgomery’s original research assistant —who we later learn Olaf drowned.
When the children recognize him despite his disguise, the Count threatens them, which could result in criminal threat charges. But the most terrible offense occurs when Olaf murders Uncle Monty, framing the deceptively named incredible deadly viper for the death. While fraud and assault could carry penalties of a few years in prison each, murder can result in life imprisonment. Since Count Olaf committed two separate murders, he would be facing a very long sentence indeed.
More Villany in The Wide Window
When the Baudelaires move to their next home, Olaf uses fraud to fool Aunt Josephine into loving Captain Sham and Mr. Poe into letting Sham adopt the children after Josephine’s apparent suicide. Fraud is a regular activity for Count Olaf, which makes sense given that the only thing he truly seems to care about is acting, but we digress, which in this case means “to get sidetracked.”
Aside from fraud, Olaf also commits assault to convince Aunt Josephine to write her suicide note and flee for her safety. But worse than that, when he comes upon the children and Aunt Josephine in the lake as their boat is being torn apart by the bloodthirsty Lachrymose leeches, he throws Josephine to the leeches, which would be considered murder, even if he did not kill her himself. A defense attorney could try to argue that Olaf did not know the leeches were dangerous, but given that the leeches were literally tearing the boat into pieces when he found them, this defense would likely be unsuccessful.
The Horrific Hypnosis of The Miserable Mill
Olaf and his associates found the children again after they escaped to Lucky Smells Lumber Mill. His evil optometrist friend then hypnotizes Klaus. Once under their control, Olaf forces Klaus to commit battery on an unsuspecting mill worker with a potentially deadly machine. Olaf then convinces the mill owner, Sir, to give up custody of the children if another accident occurs. Then Olaf tries to force the hypnotized Klaus to kill Sir’s partner.
Just because Klaus was doing the actions doesn’t mean he was guilty of these wrongful acts. As he was entirely under the control of Count Olaf and his co-conspirators, those controlling him would be at fault for the battery with a deadly weapon and attempted murder incidents.
In this case though, a lawyer could fight the charges without too much difficulty as there is no scientific proof that hypnosis actually works —especially on the level to make someone attempt to commit a murder. The attorney could even argue that this whole “plot” was actually a trick played by the Baudelaire children to get revenge on Count Olaf and that the only reason he disguised himself as Shirley was that the children had ruined his reputation to the point where he could not go in public or get a job without fearing what the orphans or those who believed their libelous (a word which here means “discrediting”) statements about the Count.
Would Olaf Finally Go to Prison?
If the charges from all of the books were brought against Olaf all at once, which is most likely what would happen, it would be extremely challenging to defend him after being confronted with so much evidence. While Count Olaf can come off as surprisingly charming (when he chooses to play such a character), it would be hard for him to fool a jury when he was confronted with ample physical evidence indicating his guilt and numerous character witnesses describing both his despicable acts and his convincing disguises.
Additionally, because he can be easily irritated until he explodes into an angry, threatening rant, his attorney would probably want to avoid putting him on the witness stand, drastically reducing his ability to charm the jury. All in all, it would be doubtful that a murderer of at least three people who committed numerous other crimes in an attempt to defraud three orphans of their fortune would win much sway with the prosecution, judge, or jury. It’s pretty certain that if Count Olaf were charged with his crimes, he would end up serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole.
Fortunately, few people are as entirely evil as Count Olaf in real life, which means it is much easier for the average person to fight criminal charges. If you have been accused of any criminal activity, Peter M. Liss can help. Please call (760) 643-4050 or (858) 486-3024 to schedule a free initial consultation as soon as possible.
Related articles: If you enjoyed reading about Count Olaf, you may also like our article about the crimes of Jareth from the Labyrinth or Harry and Marv from Home Alone.
