Last Updated on September 12, 2024
Always do your research when looking for the right defense lawyer because you don’t want to end up with someone inexperienced. Still, even the average not-so-great real-life attorney will have nothing on these famous bad lawyers. If they were real rather than just existing in TV shows, these lawyers wouldn’t just be the worst —they would have been disbarred years ago.
The Simpsons’ Attorney: Lionel Hutz
The lawyer of choice for The Simpsons should have been disbarred a dozen times over. It’s amazing that Homer, Marge, and Bart don’t already have multiple life sentences, given how many crimes they have committed and how terrible their attorney is. Here are a few highlights of Hutz’s notoriously terrible practice:
- He claims to be a graduate of Princeton School of Law even though Princeton hasn’t offered legal degrees since 1852.
- Hutz’s firm, I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm!, is located inside a strip mall, and Lionel also offers shoe repair services. While you shouldn’t automatically discount a firm located in a strip mall (though it doesn’t usually inspire confidence), if you see a lawyer that also fixes shoes, run the other way.
- He’s had to change his name twice, becoming Miguel Sanchez and, subsequently, Dr. Nguyen Van Phuoc. That’s a good sign that something isn’t going right.
- Most importantly, Lionel loses almost every case and, while a good attorney will never guarantee you will win your case, he or she should still be able to show you that they have a proven track record of winning similar cases.
Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul: Jimmy McGill, aka “Saul Goodman”
While things worked out decently well for Goodman’s client Skyler White, we wouldn’t suggest following her and Walter’s lead in terms of legal representation.
- Saul has committed fraud more times than some lawyers have been before a jury. While that wouldn’t always be something you could find out about as you research the right criminal attorney for your case, if you do find out something like that about a lawyer, run the other way!
- Like Hutz, Goodman operates his firm out of a strip mall —though that’s a big step up from his office in the back of a nail salon. Again, while a strip mall office isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker, being tucked away behind a salon probably is.
The Blind, Superhero Attorney: Matthew Murdoch, aka Daredevil
Many legal issues in Daredevil don’t involve Murdoch’s skills behind the bench. There are even plenty of good reasons to work with Nelson and Murdoch —including the fact that the two are willing to work for pies. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that Matthew isn’t the greatest lawyer in Hell’s Kitchen.
His dedication to being a superhero was bound to get in the way of his work as a lawyer, which is a big part of season two. Not only could his vigilantism get him disbarred, but as it turns out, his tardiness and lack of preparation in the Frank Castle trial could also leave him losing his profession. Defense lawyers have a duty of loyalty to their clients, and violating this duty could result in disbarment. While you might not be able to tell ahead of time if someone is fighting crime at night, you certainly don’t want an unprepared attorney —especially one who could face disbarment.
The Attorney from Seinfeld: Jackie Chiles
A parody of O.J. Simpson’s famous attorney, Jonnie Cochran, Jackie is reputed to be a great lawyer in the show —he just constantly has his case ruined whenever he makes the mistake of working with Kramer. No matter his reputation though, it’s hard not to question his abilities when he loses their Good Samaritan case in Massachusetts. After all, whether or not the gang is breaking the law by laughing while someone is being carjacked, this untested law is a blatant violation of the constitution as it forces people to put their personal safety at risk to help others.
Community’s Shamed Attorney: Jeff Winger
A promising sign he’s one of the worst lawyers on TV: he’s literally disbarred within the show’s first few minutes because he holds a fraudulent degree from Colombia (rather than Columbia). Interestingly, he is a skilled attorney in terms of winning cases; he just didn’t bother with getting the proper legal credentials —though that alone is enough to mark someone as a horrible lawyer.
The Law School Cheats From Arrested Development: Barry Zuckerkorn and Maggie Lizer
One of the great things about Arrested Development is that practically every character is a new source of comedy. Some of the best awful fictional lawyers on television come from this show, including the incompetent Barry Zuckerkorn and the lying Maggie Lizer.
Barry Zuckerkorn
Perhaps the most hilarious of this terrible twosome is Barry Zuckerkorn, portrayed by the always superb Henry Winkler. Barry has as much understanding of the law as a typical lawyer would have of nuclear physics. He’s constantly providing terrible advice —for example, suggesting that a husband and wife can’t be charged for the same crime and that anything that happens in international waters is inadmissible in American courts. He also urges Michael to lie during his interrogation with the police.
A sure sign the family should have ditched Barry is that he tried to run away from the courtroom after hearing how many crimes George was charged with. Despite this, the family keeps working with him, only for him to later miss the first hearing in Lucile’s trial. Perhaps the biggest red flag though is that Barry himself is constantly facing legal trouble, getting arrested for soliciting a prostitute, running over Tobias, and more.
Whereas most of the attorneys on this list deserve to be disbarred for their behavior, he should have never even been admitted to the bar. In fact, he went to law school in the Virgin Islands and paid a look-alike to take his bar exam for him.
Maggie Lizer
Ethics are an essential part of the legal profession, and an attorney who pretends to be blind to cheat on the bar exam provides an outstanding example of poor ethics. To make matters worse, Maggie keeps up the ruse to help win sympathy from jurors in court. It should go without saying that anyone who cheats on the bar exam would make a bad lawyer.
Honorable Mention: Charlie Kelly
Since Charlie Kelly of It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia is not an actual lawyer (it’s amazing he even graduated high school), he doesn’t quite meet even the low standards set forth by the other characters on this list. Even so, he does claim to be the best bird lawyer in the country though his expertise on legal issues is questionable at best and downright wrong most of the time. And for the record, bird law in this country is governed by reason (mostly).
Obviously, most real lawyers will be drastically more credible than these intentionally bad fictional examples, with a notable example being criminal defense attorney Peter M. Liss, who has a proven track record of success. If you need a lawyer, call (760) 643-4050 any time, day or night.